Thursday, September 11, 2003

This morning, our scratchy PA system played a recording of America The Beautiful, as I stood in my empty classroom with cool, clear sunlight flooding the empty desks and the clean tile floor. September 11th will probably always be a chilly morning that turns sunny and warm, the sky that absolutely pure blue with a few still clouds. I will probably always be standing in a classroom, only a few days into the school year, just getting to know the children. It won't be long before the new sixth graders will have been too young to really know what was happening on Sept. 11th, and it won't be long after that before the new sixth graders won't even have been born in 2001.

Two years ago, I walked into my AP's office to silence, a few teachers gathered around a radio, the news that the Towers had been attacked, were burning, were collapsing. I could not remember whether my boyfriend worked in the Trade Center or not, or which building, or what floor, or his phone number, or really anything helpful at all. Two minutes later, the bell rang, and I walked into a double-period (90 minutes) with a class that had, only a few days into the school year, already begun to be my "difficult" class. A few minutes later, parents started arriving, and the principal began listing the names of students over the loudspeaker: Please come to the main office. Later, as more parents arrived, and more, and more: Please come to the auditorium. Please come to the gym. I can only imagine what the students thought, as they had no idea why they were being called out of class by the dozen.

I tried to continue class - I certainly couldn't tell them the truth right then, even if I knew what it was - but was interrupted over and over again by the loudspeaker. One student, Raheem,* was cutting up. He asked to go the bathroom, but I said no, not the way he was behaving. I really thought he was pulling a fast one, trying to cut class. Near the end of the period, other students told me Raheem was crying. He had wet his pants, and was humiliated and angry. I imagined my friends in San Francisco in danger. I imagined our country at war, right then. I told Raheem I was so sorry, that we would call his mother to bring him new pants. I imagined trying to explain all this to his mother. Finally, finally, lunchtime came, an AP helped me find extra pants for Raheem - it was all a blur, walking around the school, everyone stunned and busy, asking for pants for a completely unrelated crisis. Lunch ended, and a dozen children came back to my homeroom class. By now, they had heard a little of what was going on... I tried to answer questions, without giving any misinformation. In the end, I told them I thought we should just read a book, so I picked up Harry Potter, sat down, and started reading, in my gentlest, gentlest voice.

Media people have been asking whether New Yorkers are "over it" yet: today the memory of that other morning overcame me and I found myself holding onto the closet door as a deep sadness tried to pull me down. Are we over it? It is now possible to forget for a few hours the significance of today's date, then remember it again, forget again, re-remember. After the moment of silence today, there were children with bad colds and nosebleeds, an argument between a student and a teacher, visitors from the Regional Office... schools go on, full of moments that have nothing to do with history but great immediate significance. Yet, there are times when the day is clear and warm and the sky is the bluest blue, when I look out the window and realize that I have no idea what is going on even a few miles away, that on any day, no matter how beautiful, the next terrible thing could happen.

Raheem's mother never brought up the wet pants. I like to think that maybe, when he's grown up and thinks back on that day, Raheem will be a little forgiving of me.

*Names of students are pseudonyms.

2 Comments:

Blogger YoYo said...

豆豆聊天室 aio交友愛情館 2008真情寫真 2009真情寫真 aa片免費看 捷克論壇 微風論壇 大眾論壇 plus論壇 080視訊聊天室 情色視訊交友90739 美女交友-成人聊天室 色情小說 做愛成人圖片區 豆豆色情聊天室 080豆豆聊天室 小辣妹影音交友網 台中情人聊天室 桃園星願聊天室 高雄網友聊天室 新中台灣聊天室 中部網友聊天室 嘉義之光聊天室 基隆海岸聊天室 中壢網友聊天室 南台灣聊天室 南部聊坊聊天室 台南不夜城聊天室 南部網友聊天室 屏東網友聊天室 台南網友聊天室 屏東聊坊聊天室 雲林網友聊天室 大學生BBS聊天室 網路學院聊天室 屏東夜語聊天室 孤男寡女聊天室 一網情深聊天室 心靈饗宴聊天室 流星花園聊天室 食色男女色情聊天室 真愛宣言交友聊天室 情人皇朝聊天室 上班族成人聊天室 上班族f1影音視訊聊天室 哈雷視訊聊天室 080影音視訊聊天室 38不夜城聊天室 援交聊天室080 080哈啦聊天室 台北已婚聊天室 已婚廣場聊天室 夢幻家族聊天室 摸摸扣扣同學會聊天室 520情色聊天室 QQ成人交友聊天室 免費視訊網愛聊天室 愛情公寓免費聊天室 拉子性愛聊天室 柔情網友聊天室 哈啦影音交友網 哈啦影音視訊聊天室 櫻井莉亞三點全露寫真集 123上班族聊天室 尋夢園上班族聊天室 成人聊天室上班族 080上班族聊天室 6k聊天室 粉紅豆豆聊天室 080豆豆聊天網 新豆豆聊天室 080聊天室 免費音樂試聽 流行音樂試聽 免費aa片試看A片 免費a長片線上看 色情貼影片 免費a長片 本土成人貼圖站 大台灣情色網 台灣男人幫論壇 A圖網 嘟嘟成人電影網 火辣春夢貼圖網 情色貼圖俱樂部 台灣成人電影 絲襪美腿樂園 18美女貼圖區 柔情聊天網 707網愛聊天室聯盟 台北69色情貼圖區 38女孩情色網 台灣映像館 波波成人情色網站 美女成人貼圖區 無碼貼圖力量 色妹妹性愛貼圖區 日本女優貼圖網 日本美少女貼圖區 亞洲風暴情色貼圖網 哈啦聊天室 美少女自拍貼圖 辣妹成人情色網 台北女孩情色網 辣手貼圖情色網 AV無碼女優影片 男女情色寫真貼圖 a片天使俱樂部 萍水相逢遊戲區 平水相逢遊戲區 免費視訊交友90739 免費視訊聊天 辣妹視訊 - 影音聊天網 080視訊聊天室 日本美女肛交 美女工廠貼圖區 百分百貼圖區 亞洲成人電影情色網 台灣本土自拍貼圖網 麻辣貼圖情色網 好色客成人圖片貼圖區 711成人AV貼圖區 台灣美女貼圖區 筱萱成人論壇 咪咪情色貼圖區 momokoko同學會視訊 kk272視訊 情色文學小站 成人情色貼圖區 嘟嘟成人網 嘟嘟情人色網 - 貼圖區 免費色情a片下載 台灣情色論壇 成人影片分享 免費視訊聊天區 微風 成人 論壇 kiss文學區 taiwankiss文學區

1:01 PM  
Blogger real_tips said...

september 11 really do shock all of us... but dont pin point it to religion, it is person who doing it regardless their religion... respect and u'll be resppected..

http://boyds-bears-ornaments.blogspot.com

http://pore-cleanser-web.blogspot.com

http://complex-acne.blogspot.com

1:17 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home