Sunday, September 26, 2004

Whirlwind

Don't know where blogging fits into this school year. I keep getting swallowed up. This is what the week ahead looks like:

Monday - school, grading, laundry, maybe yoga
Tuesday - school, theater class, pick up veggies, see a friend's sketch comedy show
Wednesday - school, afterschool class, yoga (if not on Monday)
Thursday - school, grading, meeting friends at the Urbana Poetry Slam
Friday - school... and then the beginning of the weekend, and my roommate returns from Mali

I'm trying to maintain the things I did this summer that made me feel more substantial as a person... new habits about food, sleep, creativity, friendships. I'm trying to change the way that I get my schoolwork done - specifically, staying after school to work rather than bringing it home. I'm trying to balance a new relationship with keeping my friendships strong and having enough time for my own creative projects. My mind feels a little cluttered. My apartment is extremely cluttered and that is contributing to the mental clutter. My schedule feels cluttered because it hasn't settled into a rhythm yet. I feel a little hopeless about my ability to make the world a better place, so I shut out any knowledge about world events outside of my immediate sphere of influence. Then I feel guilty for choosing to be ill-informed. The students getting jumped this week, plus a student's story about abuse in his family, have left me feeling even less optimistic about my ability to make things better even within my small sphere of influence. Yesterday I spaced out for a while, my mind in a really dark place. In general, things are good, as long as I can stay in the present and do the best I can where I am, when I am. This is a ramble. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm a little overwhelmed, it's something I go through at times of transition, I'll get through it. I want to keep blogging and I find my head full but my thoughts won't form into words and stories. I'm fighting to stay connected in every sense of the word. Thanks for reading.

1 Comments:

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