Monday, August 22, 2005

The end of denial...

The blog feels directionless right now, the writing pedantic, inelegant. That thought led to the next: so does life. Does it? New friends, the beginning of the school year, social plans in the making, the bookstore, the seaport...

it dawned on me:

Hidden deep inside me, under all the layers of down-to-earth and sensible, lives a drama queen.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with my life right now, except that I want something interesting to happen! I want it every day. I want it to the point where I think all the time about calling people whom I should not call... that is, I should not call unless I'm seeking drama...

Come to think of it, scratch "hidden deep inside me;" she's just under the surface.

And while we're on the topic, here are other things I am no longer in denial about:

1. I do want to have children some day. I am not on the yellow brick road to marriage and babies, hell no. But it's time to stop those late-twenties conversations that go like this, "I don't know, I barely have time for all the things that I want to do, how would I fit in a child?" I have no idea how people do it, but I do know that I want to find out, someday.

2. Having coffee in the evening keeps me awake. It is time to investigate the possibilities of decaf. And decaf with just a small amount of regular mixed in.

And now we will abandon confessional and return to our regularly-scheduled education ramblings...

(How fitting, the drama queen uses the royal we!)


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