Do YOUR clients do this?

Here's something those of you working in the business world probably don't have to deal with:

After I walked past a student's desk today, several kids jumped up to tell me that Lucifer (not his real name) had put white-out on my pants. I looked down, and sure enough, there was a big white splotch on my leg. Luckily, it was lotion, not white-out. Lucifer immediately denied doing it on purpose, but he has a history of lying (we're talking pathological liar here) so needless to say, I asked the other students for a bit more detail, decided their story made sense - and they all told me the same story - and then I sent him with a note to Ms. Dean. After he left, several minutes passed, and then two students approached me and said that behind my back, Lucifer had actually been making masturbation motions with his hands and then holding up his lotion-smeared fingers and threatening to wipe it on the other students - and then, when I walked by, he wiped it on me.

What a darling, darling child.